Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
The ass gains better be worth it
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
