Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
