If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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