i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
