You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
one two three fourrrrnication!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
