take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
