everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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