After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
