Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
this beer tastes like vomit already
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Did you just see the Batmobile???
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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