I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
