"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
