i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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