butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
