legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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