Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
