A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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