i may or may not be watching the land before time
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
