I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize