Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
OPIZZABONMYDICK
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
