We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I am mentally ready for anal.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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