Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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