Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
