big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
