my phone needs a breathalizer
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Randomize
