There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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