does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
