I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize