Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
