Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she peed on how many people?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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