So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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