either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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