Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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