im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
