Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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