Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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