Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
