i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
