I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
