@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
