please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
