i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
