So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
