Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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