I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
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