i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
