How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
