I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
