I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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