im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Walk of Shame today included voting.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You are the jesus of drinking
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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