I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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