You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
