I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize