thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
