no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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