there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
