I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Panties = found
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
