Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
