like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
