the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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