I'm pants shitting drunk right now
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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