all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
