you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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